Maybe it’s because I sense time is short, maybe it’s because God shows me glimpses of my fleshly nature that I’m just not that keen over or maybe it’s because I’m only now coming to the realization that what could have been for me and what is, relates primarily to decisions I have made along the way, but as of late, my understanding of who I am and what I am, is changing.
No one can ever accuse me of being a fast learner, at least when it comes to grasping what God wanted me to understand and the avenues that I have pursued to find answers in my own search for understanding. God has shown me an awful lot of grace over the years. If I was Him, I would have given up on me a long time ago. I find it difficult to comprehend why He hasn’t, but that’s just one of the many differences between who He is and who I am.
It’s so easy to see how some youth today are searching for understanding about who they are and their place in this world that they have been brought into. “Self” dominates just about everything and they often appear like a nest full of young birds who are trying to get in the best position to get fed. How quickly we forget when we were in that same nest and how long we stayed there.
I think everyone wants to believe that we are just as smart as others, if not smarter. Oh sure, it’s relatively easy to admit that we’re just not cut out to be a brain surgeon or a physicist, but I’m talking about common sense things, being able to put one and one together and understanding how things basically work. The thing is, what the world teaches us and what God’s Word teaches us are totally different and one path leads to emptiness while the other leads to fulfillment and peace. There are some who might argue with those results but I personally don’t have any problem identifying with them. For me, they ring true. Strange how so many of us insist on making our own way, via the ways of the world, before coming to the acknowledgement that the path we have chosen is the wrong path.
There’s still a lot of things that I don’t understand but the basics now seem to be seriously taking root. Through a series of events that I won’t go into right now, I have been reading and re-reading Genesis a lot lately and trying to grasp the reality of what Adam and Eve originally had in the Garden of Eden and what they moved into. I’m familiar with what they moved into, it’s getting back to what they originally had, that oneness with God, that innocence of obedience, that my heart longs for. The wonder of it all is that He has graciously allowed me to taste that and promises me that there is much more to come and I believe Him.
The reality of me is quite simple. I don’t deserve any accolades at all, far from it, I was a lost sheep and I’m definitely not the brightest one in the flock. Jesus is my shepherd. I love Him. I rely on Him. I am at rest in His care.
The world may reject who I have become but I don’t care, I have come to know who I was and I have come to know who I am in Him. It’s been a long journey, longer than I ever imagined, with many dips in the road, most of them caused by me, but through His grace and love and patience with me, I belong to Him and I am so grateful.
It’s that simple.
Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!