Back to Square One Series

square one

I started typing this post at 4:00 AM in the morning. I’ve been asking God for His specific direction and guidance as of late and this post is the result of that request that I made to God.

It’s not that my wife and I have been going through any real, back to the wall difficulties, but my wife suffers from degenerating disks in her back that were injured many years ago and advancing age isn’t making movement for her any easier. It’s troubling to see that happening to her. And then I’ve personally been going through a few days of troubling thoughts with less than satisfactory results as of late. Nothing totally off the wall either but concerning nevertheless. A setback of sorts with a couple of fellow Christians who I had previously conversed with on the Internet for a while, a sadness with regard to some that I really love getting side tracked with secondary issues, plus another necessary distancing, from a close family member and her young child, where there is a long history of mental and verbal abuse towards my wife and myself, doesn’t help either. And of course, the ongoing repercussions of the corona virus on a couple of older folks like my wife and myself. Being isolated from those that you really love and care for isn’t easy and having to deal with advancing age limitations and coming face to face with our own continuing humanistic deficiencies, definitely doesn’t make the passing of this precious limited time that we do have left, seem like we’re making any great strides.

I’ve mentioned before how I sometimes use this blog to keep myself on track with regard to walking with Jesus and staying in His Word. And I do realise that the course that I plot for myself, with I trust, the guidance and concurrence of God’s Holy Spirit, is not necessarily for anyone else but me. We’re all different, each of us with our own set of circumstances and God deals with all of us in His own unique individual way. It may not sound like it at times but I do truly get that.

It’s not that God is distant, He isn’t. And it’s not that He hasn’t continued to meet our immediate physical and spiritual needs, He does. And it isn’t because we haven’t been blessed so many times over in our marriage, in spite of our own individual and collective shortfalls, because we have and we continue to be blessed. God is good and we are so very grateful for His patience and continuing grace.

But time is short and there are so many loose ends without answers, answers that satisfy the cries and concerns of our hearts for others, and yet we know, like so many others of you who look to Jesus, that our trust is in Him.

Nothing else even remotely keeps me on track, like staying close to Jesus, especially when I falter, especially when the unknowns remain unknown. So I asked God to give me that which would keep me close to Him and He gave me an outline to work on. Maybe some of you will be interested in following it along. I got up at 3:30 AM and started to put down the thoughts that He had given me while I laid in bed.

The concept is simplistic yet timeless and I’m sure many have done it before but it’s a reminder for me, about going back to square one with God and seeing how Israel is the picture of our walk with Him, covering the basics, connecting the dots. I have five paragraphs now in point form and there may be more.

I don’t know about you but I need to be reminded of what God has done in the past and what He does today. His guidance doesn’t change. His path is always the same. God doesn’t change. This is God’s answer to my prayer. Maybe it will be helpful to you too.

Keeping it simple. Focusing on Jesus. Trusting in our glorious Saviour.

More to follow.

Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!

 

 

 

18 comments

  1. Keep doing what you do, Bruce – keep your eyes on the Lord. I have a feeling (correct me if I’m wrong) that you are very much like me in that I tend to overthink and dwell on things and will go out of my way to please others … even when some of those others can be very difficult people. I haven’t been participating here as much as I used to because, to be honest, I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread … thank the Lord that thread leads directly to Him. Do you feel tired and worn out? That’s how I feel. I sometimes wonder if it’s worth staying on social media to write … and then, out of the blue, someone will come along and make it feel better … that it’s worth it because of the majority of good people … and even though we care about the few we can’t seem to rub along with, sometimes we have to accept that there are some that are better letting go of. This has been a long and hard lesson for me. It’s more difficult when it’s a family member, though, but I will say that you don’t need to put up with verbal abuse for whatever reason. Not knowing the circumstances, maybe make it clear to them that you and your wife won’t put up with it, then take a back seat and pray. That’s what I did with my sons and, praise God, relationships are being healed.
    God bless, Bruce. Hang in there. Things are so difficult at this time.

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    • Hi Lesley, thank you for taking the time to comment, you actually cross my mind quite often and I do hold you up in prayer, and you are right about a lot of things being difficult right now. We have a daughter who has narcissistic personality disorder so that has and continues to be very difficult, especially as she has a year and half old daughter who is very dear to our hearts. It’s just so sad but she cannot see anything other than herself. Hard lessons to deal with. A lot of your points are well taken, I can always do better. It just shows me how totally dependent upon Jesus I am. The long and the short of it is that we all desperately need Jesus, it doesn’t matter who we are. Do not become disheartened and don’t drop out, God hears everyone of our prayers and we all form His body here on earth. I will indeed keep hanging in there and please Lesley, continue to do likewise. Keep me in your prays, you’re already in mine. God’s grace, peace and blessings to you and yours!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. He is truly an unchanging and merciful Triune GOD, Bruce. Thank you for sharing your early morning thoughts. I’ll be praying for your wife. Not so sure, just consult your doctor if the combination of vitamin D and calcium might help slow degenerative process.

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  3. You may be caught up in Corona attachment disorder. Watch your mood.

    People will be making choices, radical choices that they wouldn’t normally take. That might include exploding at your spouse, or getting a divorce.
    Radical actions might mean changing your job or selling your house or deciding to go to church or quit going.
    People likely have a sober view of their lives with some detachment as if they had a car crash which almost took their lives.
    Its well known that when a terrible event happens to you your next two years is very different. There is an attachment disorder that seems to take over.

    So, The press should be asking how will the Corona detachment disorder affect lives. How will you extend your protective walls? How will you push people away? What choices will you make with force without other people having a say in them?
    The next issue is, what will countries do? What will Italy or Israel or China or the USA do? How will Iran or Russia or England act? Will countrys act with a level of grunt, I am doing this! don’t tell me otherwise.

    This is the news story of the day. It is already happening. the new should cover these moves by countries and by people.

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      • It was some deep thinking I was having myself about the world situation. I just was with a lady who broke up with her husband. long story but threats and guns were involved and police and a road closure etc.
        This is not necessarily abnormal but Covid 19 etc. is the straw that broke the camels back.

        As per a video I just watched. It turns out Vit. D is an important part of several solutions…
        I will pass it on for you to look at. It was worth the time of education:

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  4. Bruce.
    What I have done for almost 40 years is invested heavily in making sure I have at least one or more accountability partners / mentors I can talk and pray with every week. Men of God or trying to get there. The iron sharpens iron thing. They are gifted where I am not. They see things in me I don’t. I would highly recommend this type of thing if you are not already doing this.. I personally cannot do it without some partners keeping me in bounds. Try to avoid therapists though (just a tip).
    Just a thought as you start at square 1 again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Gary, I heartily agree. I am fortunate enough to still have access to one of my two original mentors from away back when I first started this journey. We talk quite often on the phone plus I have a couple of local brothers. A different set of eyes can make quite a difference, especially when one is being self critical. It’s a shame we’re not in the same area cause for sure I’d be touching base with you. Blessings brother.

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  5. Great post, my friend. In these difficult days, we all need to go back to square one. I am praying for you and Peggy. I’m sorry for her physical pain and for both of your heartache.

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    • Hi Bill, I thank you for your prayers, that means a lot. We’re both doing alright, all things considered, but more importantly, how are you and Mary doing? I’m assuming not being able to physically see and get hugs from family members is as difficult for you folks as it is for us. We do FaceTime with the grandchildren but it’s not the same. These are indeed difficult days but none of our tribe has been sick so we are grateful for that. You and Mary are always lifted up daily in my prayers. Someday you and I will meet face to face Bill and I am so looking forward to that. Better days are indeed ahead. Thank you so much for taking the time to touch base with me, I always feel guilty because I know how much effort it takes for you to write even a short note. May our gracious Lord grant you His peace and joy. Blessings to you and yours Bill.

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