I spent a fair amount of time in prayer last night and this morning because I needed to. These are trying times and that which attacks our hearts and minds from both without and within doesn’t take coffee breaks. And as I am acutely aware of, without Jesus as my source, without His grace and guidance and strength, I, in and of myself, am clearly not up for the task at hand.
I don’t know how to fix that which I see, that needs to be fixed and that obviously starts with me. I may not even have the problems that I see, in their proper perspective. I need to see as Jesus sees, hear as Jesus hears and have His mind and heart functioning within me. Last night there were no words, I just bowed in His presence. This morning I prayed in the Spirit because I can’t even form the words. My need for His grace, love and guidance goes beyond words. He knows that I know and I know that He knows and for now, that is all that I need.
I don’t know how to fix the hurt that I see, that doesn’t need to hurt like it does. I don’t know how to change that. It hurts to see the hurt that doesn’t need to be. But I can’t change hearts, that why I am me and God is God. I know that He cares, I know that He can do what I cannot do. So I have left that with Him. I will do what I can do and I will trust Him to do what only He can do. That is what trusting and having faith in Him is about. I’ve seen it before, with God’s grace I will see it again.
I am so thankful that He is there, working behind the scenes, that more times than not, I know little about. Filling that void that only He can fill, telling me to trust Him and that He knows the end from the beginning and that I will see it too, in due time. I’ve seen it before, with God’s grace I will see it again.
Sometimes it’s hard not knowing or understanding, seeing the almost uncontrollable need to be vindicated in others, along with self that surfaces from within me. But my God is bigger than what I see and He is so much more than me. God loves us beyond what we comprehend. We are His creation, His children, if we trust in Him. I marvel that He puts up with us, especially me.
My heart may be broken, my spirit crushed but He sustains Me, He gets me through. He’s done it before and with God’s grace, He will do it again.
At this moment I don’t have the answers that I seek, but He knows the concerns of my heart. He understands everything in its proper perspective. That’s all that I need to know. He tells me to tell Him what grieves my heart and I have done that. That is my part. The rest is up to our loving God and He will guide us through what He knows is the best for us and for those whom we grieve for, including ourselves.
He asks me to love where I can and I will, with His grace. He asks me to hold and comfort whom I can hold and comfort, and I will, with His grace. He asks me to lift up to Him that which breaks my heart and crushes my spirit and I have. He is my shepherd and your shepherd and we are His sheep and I trust Him and believe in Him. He has proven Himself to me many many times before and with God’s grace, He will do it again. And we love Him because He first loved us. Our Shepherd is Jesus and He is the richness of our God.
Worthy is the Lamb. Blessings!