A Rough Walk As of Late

It’s been a really tough go as of late. There appears to be a variety of reasons, disappointment in myself, sometimes others, the passing of Bill Sweeney really got to me and then there are just the day to day reminders of what really matters in this crazy world that we live in. The discouraging news pertaining to Ravi Zacharias didn’t help any either. And I am so very bone tired of the polar opposites in opinions and the seemingly endless stream of spin from all quarters and I do mean all.

I’m grateful and indebted for some of what I call my old blogging faithfuls, you know, the Christians who bring a smile to your face when you think of their name. I’ve been graced with getting to know, even remotely, quite a few. Fellow believers who have no agenda, that are just trying to walk with Jesus day to day. And of course, we have the fact that this is January and winter, which is not my favourite time of the year. And then, just to make things more interesting, we have Covid19, which some believe is fake and others believe is real. How in the world does that even happen? And please don’t answer that question because I already know both opinions. 

I keep reminding myself that this world that we live in is a fallen world, and in reality, that’s not difficult to see. But I also am mindful that this hope that I have, this trust in Jesus, who is my rock, is supposed to help me walk above the waves that surround us. And most times it does, time spent in prayer and God’s word obviously helps, but the emotions that sometimes swell up in me also remind me that my walk with Jesus needs to be deeper. Sometimes it is really hard because we haven’t seen Jesus, we’ve never met Him face to face. My mind is convinced, my heart desires Him above all else, but what I see in myself still causes me to want to be closer than I am, because of my mixed thoughts and emotions about myself and too often others. I could be a lot more patient, understanding and helpful than I sometimes am.

Of course, God’s grace is amazing and His guidance through His Holy Spirit does get through and I see that daily. You have no idea how often He has stopped me from putting my foot in my mouth. But it’s the still waters that I seem to want more of because my mind is tired and my heart is weary. And if I get tired of me, I can only imagine how I can affect others. Actually I don’t have to imagine, I know. 

Please remember to lift one another up in prayer, we all are in dire need of God’s grace. 

Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!

34 comments

  1. Thanks for the honesty and transparency, Bruce. Decades ago, as a new believer, I thought we Christians were supposed to behave as automatons. The Lord doesn’t want us to pretend the storms and the waves aren’t there, as I previously thought, but He does use the storms and waves so that we’ll lean on Him more.

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  2. The year 2020 was the most exceptional year I can remember. Satan seems to have flourished through it all. Depression is prevalent among us, and I think it is going to take a combination of realizing we must Trust God most of all and waiting patiently for answers. In one of Max Lucado’s books he describes being so close spiritually for a time with our Lord can often be followed by a period of introspect and reflection which will cause us to doubt ourselves and have feelings of unworthiness when we aren’t as close. What you are experiencing will pass. But it is necessary to stay connected with other Christians. We all experience the “mountain top” and the “desert.” In writing this article, you made the first step. Your words to paper transferred “stuff” out of your head which helps us all share similar feelings. I know I’ve had so many days and sometimes months of the “desert.” The loss of my two sons were my greatest challenges, but it took a village of people to help me find my way back. You have been an inspiration to me so many times. And I’ve learned from you even when I disagreed at times. Disagreeing doesn’t always lead to strife. It often makes us study a little harder and learn with an open mind.I need you so stick around and try to take one day at a time.

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    • Hi Phyllis, thank you for your encouraging words. You are correct, disagreement does not always have to lead to strife, just wish there was more of that going around. I often wonder, when we are home with our Lord, if we will recall the thoughts and meanderings of our minds here on earth because somehow I think that we’ll be shaking our heads at ourselves, in how little we understood and how much we misunderstood. You’re still on my prayer list so you hang in there too! And thank you, I needed to hear what you said. God’s blessings to you and yours as always.

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  3. Bruce, praying for you this morning, my long-distance friend. I love your honesty and I understand so much of what you mean when you say:

    “Sometimes it is really hard because we haven’t seen Jesus, we’ve never met Him face to face. My mind is convinced, my heart desires Him above all else, but what I see in myself still causes me to want to be closer than I am, because of my mixed thoughts and emotions about myself and too often others. I could be a lot more patient, understanding and helpful than I sometimes am.” This reminds me of that Matthew West song, “Truth Be Told.”

    I go through that same wrestling process. We both know from Romans 7 it’s a result of what Paul is describing when he said he does the things he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do the things he wants to do.” It’s our old fallen nature at work, keeping us from seeing the full glory of His grace for us and in our lives. Still, knowing what it is sometimes doesn’t make it much easier to cope with it.

    That’s one of the reasons why fellowship and sharing each other’s burdens are so important for us as believers. So I am indeed praying for you this morning, Bruce. He is risen! and so will we be someday with Him!

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    • Mark, I really appreciate your comment. This particular post was written after my morning prayer and just kind of flowed from the need in my spirit. And the Lord has encouraged me with the words and thoughts of brothers and sisters in Christ. And you are so right about the fellowship and sharing aspect. Thank you Mark, especially for your prayers and you are so right, He is indeed risen and we will be with Him, in His glory. God’s blessings to you and yours brother.

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  4. My prayer of encouragement for you and others who are weary — that He will give you rest from the weariness. We’ve all been there before or are there now. Prayers also for those who currently have no hope for true rest for their souls because they have not placed their trust in Christ. Prayers that they will see the light that continues to shine in an increasingly dark world.

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    • Thank you Steve, I’m sure that what with me being almost 76, is a partial factor but it’s still not a nice place to be. I’m thinking it is part of His plan to draw me closer because I sure as heck have no intention of moving away. What is so amazing is that even with the weariness there is continued grace, daily. Sometimes I marvel at the words that come out of my mouth because I think that was not what I was going to say. Sheer grace, and it is humbling. You Steve, are an encouragement to me and I thank you. God’s continued blessings to you and yours brother.

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  5. Good morning. God is good and in a good mood. It is a great thing to always remember to pray for each other. Thanks for the reminder. I’m praying with you and your family.

    Blessings from mighty King Jesus.

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  6. Good morning Bruce. As we get older do we get deeper feelings? Maybe as we walk with the Lord in deeper ways he gives more capacity for those depths all around….just thinking out loud.
    If you were close I would take you fishing. Ice house conversations on our lake can get quite deep and the setting is great as well as good food obtained in the spirit of adventure….just thinking out loud again.

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    • Hi Gary, you gotta love those ice houses! You had me smiling! I saw your filleted fish offerings in a previous post and you had my mouth watering. And I’m pretty sure this weary mind of mine could use some of your excellent counselling skills. This morning as I was getting up, I got one of the rock hard lower leg cramps where the muscle just tightens up and you know it’s going to hurt bad for a while until you can get that muscle relaxed. Without thinking I uttered the word “Father” and instantly it was gone. The thing is, I seldom ever just use the word ‘Father”. Normally it’s Heavenly Father or I call out to Jesus, almost always the latter. Key words here are “without thinking” because the word “Father” seemed to automatically just come out of my mouth. I’m thinking that was God’s way of letting me know all is well. Just going through one of those rough patches that we all hit now and then. Thank you for taking to time to reach out Gary, if I was close by we’d be in that ice house by now! Love in Christ – Bruce

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  7. I am thankful for you, Papa Bruce! Be encouraged that you want to go deeper and want to know Christ more, dying more to self living more for Him. That’s a beautiful thing! That is wise! I have that dissatisfaction to and I really think it comes from God so that we will never be satisfied with the things of this world and that the more we hunger and thirst for Him and the more He reveals Himself, helping us etc the more we want to know Him because we love Him. I do not doubt that it’s been “a rough walk as of late” but please know there are people who are praying for you (and Peggy) and who are cheering you as you go! Love and blessings, Papa Bruce!

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  8. Bruce, Once again I turn to your blog looking for inspiration for my Saturday post! Please know that you are playing an important role. God uses you even when you don’t know it. (In fact, you probably don’t know the half of it!) Don’t let the enemy discourage you. Thanks for writing your excellent blog and including so many great resources. When I get discouraged, I speak this verse: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Blessings Friend!

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  9. I’ve lost tracked with praying for people with COVID online; not because I don’t care but there’s so many. When did you have COVID or are you still with the virus?

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  10. I’m praying for you, Bruce. I’m having a tough time myself and my faith is on shaky ground I hate to say. So, I completely understand. It takes a lot of mind work not to fall into faithlessness and it sounds like you’re doing a great job at keeping your mind right. God bless you.

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    • Hi Cherie, thank you for your prayers, praying for one another is always a good thing and I will add your name to my prayer list too. Sometimes we do hit a little hollow in the road but I have found that more prayer time with God, where you tell Him like it is, (not that He doesn’t already know), is always a step in the right direction. God is patient and good and faithful, just because He is. If there is anything that I can help you with just let me know. We can be such a fickle lot at times, I marvel that God puts up with us, but He does. God’s grace, peace and blessings to you and your Cherie and thank you again for reaching out to me.

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      • You’re very welcome, Bruce! And you’re so right. I’m amazed that He hasn’t stricken me dead because there have been times when my faith has tanked. And I so appreciate your kind words. We will definitely prop each other up in prayer. 🙏🙏🙏

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