I think one of the most difficult things to learn in this walk with Jesus, is how to balance all that He brings to our awareness. And it’s not just the necessity of learning to balance, it’s also learning the consequences of what the repercussions can cause, if you disregard this necessity. I’ve learned the hard way that how we treat those that we love, in our zeal to follow Jesus, is vitally important.
When we don’t pay attention to the needs of those that we are responsible for, the scales tilt and that is not a good thing. How a husband listens to and treats his wife, is something that God’s Word tells us, can affect how our prayers are heard and responded to. 1 Peter 3:7 addresses that reality, and it is not something that is to be overlooked. As I look back on some of the things that I dove right into, without considering the consequences of what I was doing and the effects that it caused, like putting more work and responsibility on my wife, when in fact, at a minimum I should have at least been carrying my fair load, not to mention, giving her a break when she needed one, caused a considerable amount of resentment, that didn’t have to be there. My timetable and my agenda, the things that I thought were important, needs to be balanced with love and attention, both for my wife and also for the children we are responsible for. The urgency that we sometimes feel, in our zeal to accomplish what we think God would have us do, often can leave casualties on the sidelines, and that is not a good thing.
These are hard lessons to learn.
Sometimes we think that if we don’t do what we think we need to do, the opportunity set before us will disappear and we will miss out on the expectation that we have projected in our minds. It’s almost like, well if I don’t do “A” now, “B” isn’t going to happen. Not so. God can orchestrate situations that we are not even aware of. The hard lesson to learn is that the “love” aspect, is also to be extended to your spouse and to the children, while you walk in faith, and while you are doing what you think God would have you do. Balance is critical to maintaining the reality of love for all, especially in your home. And no, it isn’t always easy but trust God to fix those “loose ends” that you think you are leaving hanging. Go for the balance and make the effort, at the expense of your “agenda” and the rewards will actually speed up your expectations. I made a lot of mistakes here, because I focused on my expectations, rather than everyone’s expectations. The “balanced” approach is the way to go. God will literally take care of the rest, in His own time and His own ways, using situations and opportunities that we aren’t even aware of.
When you go out that door, and leave your wife behind, with the children, you will accomplish much more, when you have her blessing, than if you haven’t got that blessing. Think one step forward and two steps back. The blessings on her part will come when she feels that her needs are also being taken into consideration, and yes, sometimes that “consideration” means saying no to your expectations and considering hers. It matters. Don’t neglect it. Pay attention to it.
When I look back in retrospect, the biggest blessings I received, when I went out that door, and left her behind, was when I had her blessing. That’s not a coincidence. As in all things, we earn the “right” to put more responsibility on others, in order to achieve our “combined” expectations. And the more that we address the expectations of our wives and children, the more the “combined” overall goals will increase. The “willingness” to accept that “extra load” increases as the considerations for her are seen. This isn’t rocket science. God is NOT hindered by our obedience to meeting all of our responsibilities.
I still have a hard time with this, even to this very day. But I can tell you this, I do pay more attention and I do appreciate the gift I have been given in my wife. And I let her know it, as much as I can, not by only saying, but actually doing. Talk is cheap, actions say more than words. And it matters.
Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!