As one endeavours to walk with God, in this life that we have been given, the grace that God so often extends to us becomes more and more apparent. Coupled with that awareness of His grace, is the awareness of our need for God to sustain us, especially as one gets older and so many of the things that one tends to take for granted, seem to slowly dissipate. It is a humbling experience, and yet it is much more than that. God’s grace is almost like a cloak that slowly opens and one begins to comprehend the magnitude of His provision, from our first steps towards Him, to where we are now and where, eventually, we shall be.
I was recently looking through some Christian related books that I bought and had read many many years ago and I ran into a note that I had entered into one of them, that caught me by surprise. There was arrogance in my written comments and the appearance of knowledge that I assumed I had, but in actuality I did not possess. Sometimes I marvel how God even puts up with me, but praise God, He does.
The written note was written when I assumed that it was I that was in full control. And yes, my story goes downhill directly from there. I shudder to think of how ill informed my mind was and how hard my heart was at that time. The journey we walk is long for some of us, and although not always apparent, God’s purposes do unfold and His wisdom and patience with us, clears our vision, as time marches on.
Helplessness is not something that most of us take solace in, but there is untapped strength in God, in this awareness. The Apostle Paul makes mention of this reality in 2 Corinthians 12:9 which reads: “And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” Recognizing our weaknesses is not something to be ashamed of, it is in actuality, the beginning of the fulfillment of our strength, that is found in Jesus.
My wife has dementia and is also scheduled for a hip replacement due to advanced arthritis. Dementia affects her memory and arthritis her mobility. Both can be crippling. And I love her with all of my heart. These last few months caring for her and attempting to address her needs, has glaringly brought me to an enhanced awareness of my own inadequacies. Physically, mentally and especially from within my heart. Yet, day by day, I continue to be amazed at the sufficiency of our God. I cannot begin to convey how God’s love overcomes my inadequacies.
God has enhanced my love for Him and my wife, at the same time. Although my patience is not always perfect, it far exceeds my usual norm. God helps me see what is important and sustains both of us on a daily basis. He instills in me the need to focus on today, and to trust in Him, and I do. Many tears have been shed in prayer because this cuts to the very core of our being. It makes us come face to face with our own inabilities, and opens the door to God’s unwarranted grace. Jesus personified His dependency in His Father, while He walked in our flesh. One sees this literally everywhere, if you start to look for it, via the words that Jesus spoke or the things that Jesus did (John 5:30). Both divine and human at the same time, Jesus showed us of His own trust in the Father, and the desire at all costs, to fulfill the Father’s will. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus sweated blood (Luke 22:44). Jesus knows full well, our limitations.
And what is equally amazing is the grace that God extends to my wife. To see this unfold is the hardest thing we have ever encountered, but it also is the most beautiful. How does one even begin to explain how that happens, but it does. Don’t get me wrong, even though God’s provision is beautiful, it tears at the heart. I don’t think about tomorrow, I just focus on today and trust that our tomorrows will conclude according to God’s love and purposes, to His glory. God’s grace, sheer grace. There is no other word that comes even close to His sufficiency.
Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!